Six years since I'd been in Germany last. Six years since I had said good bye to Bill and Tom. And six years since I'd said a single word to either of them.
They probably hated me.
My brother, Alec, and I decided to come back to Germany after six years for two reasons: We missed our home country and we had no where else to go. My father had died earlier this year and we felt there was nothing left in America for us so we wanted to come home so Alec called our grandmother and she asked us to come live with her.
I hated flying, it's not that I was afraid of heights... it's just, I got so bored! I drove Alec crazy with my foot tapping and random tunes, especially the clown tune.
"Please, Cai, just sit still!" He begged. I looked at my older brother by three years which would make him twenty.
"I'm sorry! I have nothing to do, you broke my iPod!" I put the guilt trip on him, he sighed and handed me his iPod. "Thank you!" I said happily.
Over the intercom we heard that the plane was finally going to end, I almost jumped up with glee but realized that people would stare and Alec would flip.
He wasn't fun anymore; ever since my dad died he's been 'Mr. Responsibility.'
Gram was waiting for us at the airport, she looked exactly the way I remembered her. Small with snow white hair and blue eyes.
Alec and I hugged her and no I'm remembering her bone crushing hugs.
"I missed you two so much! Let me look at you!" She held me out at arms length and looked me up and down. "Still beautiful!"
"Thank you, Gram. I missed you so much! How's Grandpa?" I asked. she rolled her eyes.
"He's told the whole country that you two were coming back. He's even planned a party. This means we’ve better get back and make sure the old coot hasn’t burned down the house!" Gram said and lead the way to pick up our luggage and then to the car.
Nothing looked familiar to me, but I guess time will do that. There were a few houses that I remembered as we drew closer to Gram's house. We passed my old house and I suddenly felt depressed and homesick, as if I just realized that I was actually home.
"Does Bill and Tom's family still live in that house?" Alec asked and I looked at the white house and forced myself to look away.
"Their parents do, but the twins do a lot of traveling nowadays. I hear they've even been to America a couple times!" Gram looked at me through the mirror, most likely trying to see my reaction but I just gave my polite smile.
"Really? Are they checking out colleges?" The thing about Alec now, was that he expected everything to be about education.
"No, actually, the two of them dropped out of school. Something about music?" Gram said as we pulled into her driveway.
"You've got to be kidding!" Alec shook his head, my smile got wider. I always told him they would drop out sooner or later.
We got out of the car and I noticed for the first time the miles and miles of cars that ran down the street. I bet I wasn't going to know any of these people.
Alec and I barely made it over the thresh hold and people were swarming to shake our hands and welcome us home. I only recognized names, not faces but Alec seemed to know most of them or at least he was pretending to.
I was standing by Gram, Grandpa, and Alec looking at the sea of faces, I didn't realize that someone had come to talk to us.
When I turned back to the conversation it took me a while to figure out who that woman was. Then a young man, about my age with long blonde dreadlocks and clothes that looked like they could fit about fifty of him walked up to her.
"Mama, can I use your cell phone?" He said to the woman. I found myself staring at him, this time I knew the face but not the name. He was six feet tall and I found myself idolizing his lip ring he wore a white hat over his dreads.
"I'm sure Mrs. Craig will let you use their phone." The woman looked at Gram who smiled and nodded.
"Oh but first, Tom, you remember Alec and Caya right?" The woman said. I mentally smacked myself in the head, so freaking obvious. The woman was Simone Trumper, Bill and Tom's mother and this was Tom.
"How could I forget? It's nice to see you both again!" Tom shook Alec's hand and hugged me.
"Wow, you got... Tall!" I said as he now stood almost a whole foot over me. He smiled.
"Yeah, got to love the growth spurts" He laughed.
"Tom, where's your brother?" His mother asked and Tom looked around the crowded room.
"I think he's still on the couch moping," Tom said. "Would you like me to go find him?"
"Yes please, I'm sure he'll want to see Alec and Caya all grown up!" I smiled politely but was mentally rolled my eyes.
We waited a few minutes and then we saw Tom walking back towards us dragging a very sorrow looking young man. His hair was medium lenth, straight black hair with blonde streaks. You could see the many layers in them, he wore eyeliner around his eyes and he had a eyebrow piercing. The hand his twin wasn't tugging was shoved in his pocket. He looked less than enthusiastic to be there and barely looked up at anyone.
"Look Bill! It's Alec and Caya!" Tom said as if he was talking to a young child. Bill looked up briefly at Alec and I and went back to looking at the floor.
"Hey" he said lamely and took his hand back from Tom and put it in his vacant pocket.
"Hey Bill, how're you?" Alec said formally. Bill only shrug and looked at his mother expectantly as if to save him. She sighed.
"Tom you needed to use the phone right?" She asked and Tom nodded and went to find it. Simone turned to Bill and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Bill, would you like to go sit down again?" Bill nodded and said good bye to us before leaving.
"Not the same chatter box I remember" Alec said as we all watched him walk away.
"No, he's been a little upset recently." Simone said shaking her head sadly. "His girlfriend killed herself several months ago; he hasn't been the same since."
"We've been trying to get him to be social but he just kind of sits there quietly." Gordon, the twin's stepfather said.
"That's sad," I said quietly and looked over at the couch.
"Yes, it's probably why we're going to have to leave the party soon. It was nice seeing you both again, we'll see you soon." Simone said and they went off to get Bill and Tom.
Not much happened after that, eventually I was just sitting in the kitchen tired of hearing people say 'welcome back' and 'Oh my how you've grown!' and blah, blah, blah.
Eventually everyone left and the house was quiet and Alec and I finally got to spend sometime with Gram and Grandpa.
But all night, all I could think about was Bill. I felt bad for him, and I regretted not talking to him all this time. Completely excluding him from my life, and I wanted to change that.
The Bill I saw today wasn't the Bill I knew, and even though I'd been gone six years I knew this Bill wasn't right. When I was on the plane earlier, all I could think about was the old days: the four of us playing games and hanging out. I wanted to come back and have everything be the same, but it looks like I'm going to have to work on that.
Even though he barely said anything today, I could tell he wanted nothing to do with me. You may say "well he lost his girlfriend" but I had the premonition that he was upset about more than that...

Well, looks like I'll just have to find out myself!